Ho ho ho hippo houx?

I'm really not sure what I'm doing perched up here--an excellent view of the living room, it must be said, and for once the humans have been less wasteful than usual by putting up a Christmas tree that's already dead, and whose decorations are all either edible or wearable. I'm not sure what category that puts me in: do I have more in common with the woolly hat or with the just-begun sausage? Hmm.

UPDATE: Well I seem to have survived so far, as can be seen from the remains of another unfortunate creature in the roasting pan. The main problem now is that I'm completely full, and worried my liver is about to go on strike:

1.5kg pork roast, boneless
1 slice poitrine de porc=3 slices streaky bacon
500g chestnuts, peeled
3 cipolata sausages
2 onions
6 cloves garlic

Chop onion, garlic, poitrine/bacon and half of chestnuts, soften in frying pan. Trim and open out pork to form as flat a sheet as possible, lay stuffing on top and roll up, securing with twine. Place in roasting pan on top of remaining chestnuts, if possible fatty side up. Roast for two hours or so, or probably less in a less feeble oven.

Serve with mashed potato/chestnut mixture and sautéed spinach leaves.

To be preceded by foie gras with quince paste, and followed with lemon curd tart and affogato--vanilla ice cream, coffee and liqueur served alongisde each other. Apéritifs of cheese and olives, while cooking.

Wine: red for the most part. Tawny port in lieu of white with foie gras, champagne with apéritifs and dessert.

And of course the finest of company...